All You Need Is Chocolate

Of all the manufactured holidays, Valentine's Day is my least favorite. Although I remain ever the hopeless romantic, the spirit of the occasion was forever crushed for me by the indelibly cruel grammar school ritual of exchanging cards with everyone in your class. Surely you remember those 'value' bags of Valentines from back in the day, (I happen to know the teachers kept a few in their desks in case some kid's family couldn't afford them). There'd be a couple of big fancy cards, for your best girlfriend and your secret crush, a bunch of cute, if non-committal but at least medium-sized, cards for most of the others, and a handful of crappy little cards that pictured a postman putting a letter into a mailbox with the caption, "Just dropping by to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day," for the kids you'd never noticed before or just plain didn't like.

The only time I got one of the big cards from a boy was in 5th grade, from Frank (not his real name) Crabb. Having been 'held back' several years, Frank was 13 and the only kid in grammar school who smoked cigarettes and shaved. Already a sexual deviate, he had an unnerving habit of accidentally bumping into budding prepubescent girls in the hallway and grabbing their breasts. And no, Frank did not go on to become a doctor or president of the local bank, despite what my mother tried to tell me that night in a vain effort to cheer me up. (Last I heard he was in prison, but I can't say for what. We kind of lost touch.)

My secret crush, Bobby Smith, who did become a doctor and to whom I'd given one of my big Valentines -- a sad-eyed, droopy-eared puppy holding a huge heart its paws and the text, "I'm begging to be your Valentine" -- gave me the postman putting a letter into a mailbox with, "just kidding," written on the back. And, no, I am not making this up.

Fortunately, there was chocolate, Hershey's Kisses, the gateway to Godiva. My mom just handed me the bag and let me eat all I wanted. (It was a lot easier than explaining the cutthroat world of adolescence I was about to enter, where my social value would be judged solely on my bra size and ability to French kiss without gagging.) It turned out to be the most important thing I'd learn from her.

Any of you ladies who've spent hours making the perfect chocolate truffle cheesecake mousse for your significant other on Valentine's Day, even though you know that's not what he really wants,  know who that chocolate extravaganza is really for. So let's cut to the chase. You want chocolate. It's never let you down, and it never will. It doesn't have to be fancy, and it doesn't have to take all day to prepare; it just has to be rich, and satisfying. (I leave you to draw your own comparisons.)

So whether you're spending Valentine's Day solo or with your soul mate, it's time to get out your heart-shaped dish or pan, (you know you have one), splurge on some top quality chocolate and cocoa powder, and whip up a quick and easy chocolate fix that hits all the right spots every time; hot fudge, cake, creamy pudding, and 72% cacao. All you need is chocolate.

HOT FUDGE PUDDING CAKE

1 cup cold brewed coffee mixed with 1/2 cup water OR 2 teaspoons instant coffee dissolved in 1 1/2 cups water
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (divided)
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 cup granulated sugar (divided)
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped
3/4 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup whole milk
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 egg yolk

Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spray an 8-inch (8 cup) cake pan or dish with baking spray.

In a small bowl, stir together 1/3 cup of the cocoa, the brown sugar, and 1/3 cup of the granulated sugar. Set aside.

Melt butter, with the remaining 1/3 cup of cocoa and the chocolate in the top of a double boiler. Whisk until smooth, cool slightly.

Sift flower and baking powder together, set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the remaining 2/3 cup granulated sugar, vanilla, milk and salt. Whisk in egg yolk. Add chocolate mixture and then flour mixture, whisking until batter is evenly moistened.

Pour batter into prepared baking dish. Sprinkle cocoa sugar mixture evenly over batter (should cover entire surface). Then pour the coffee gently over the top.

Bake about 45 minutes, until cake is puffed and bubbling and just beginning to pull away from the sides of the dish. Do not over bake. You want to keep that gooey, hot fudge pudding on the bottom.

Cool for about 15 minutes. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream, no substitutes. Leftover cake can be reheated in the microwave in individual serving dishes. That is, if you don't eat it all at once. But you probably will.

A Doberge By Any Other Name

Some call it a cake, some call it a torte. I call it the best chocolate dessert ever, hands down.

I first heard of Doberge cake when my husband mentioned it was the kind of cake he always had for his birthdays, growing up in New Orleans, and, hint, hint, would like to have again. "It's a chocolate cake, lots of layers, I don't know where they got it." Big help.

I floundered around a few years, trying to find an approximation in Los Angeles before the internet bailed me out yet again and a search turned up Gambino's Bakery in Metairie, the very same neighborhood where Tommy was born and raised. I ordered one -- $70.00, delivered overnight by FedEx, worth twice as much as it turned out -- and it became a tradition. And while its' dark, moist, fudgey chocolate goodness seemed unlikely to be improved upon, I never-the-less harbored ambitions of one day doing it myself.

I practiced throughout this past year on a couple of "amateur" Doberge cakes, four layer chocolate concoctions that were worth it alone just for the silky pudding between the layers. They were satisfying, but the real deal remained elusive.

That would be Beulah Ledner's original Doberge cake; eight thin layers of creamy white cake, stacked with rich chocolate ganauche pudding in between, and covered in not one, but two unbelievably rich chocolate frostings -- eight cups of sugar, eight eggs, nearly a pound of butter. Oh the glory of it all.

Mrs. Ledner opened a bakery in New Orleans in the 30's and adapted the recipe from the famous Dobos Torte, created by Austrian confectioner Jozsel Dobos way back when. Wanting to give it a bit of Creole panache, she named her creation "Doberge" cake, and sold it under her own banner until 1946 when Gambino's bought the name, recipe and retail shop from the family. The recipe was published in the long out of print cookbook, "Let's Bake With Beulah Ledner" by Maxine Wolchansky, Beulah's daughter. Search as I might (and I am VERY resourseful), I haven't been able to locate a copy, (Big door prize to anybody who finds it for me!), but fortunately I did find the recipe on the internet.

This year, the husband got his homemade Doberge cake! Yes it cost me an entire day in the kitchen. Yes, it has something like 1700 calories per slice. Yes, it was absolutely worth it.


DOBERGE CAKE

1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter
2 cups sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 eggs, separated
1 cup milk
3 teaspoons baking powder
3 1/2 cups cake flour, sifted
1 teaspoon vanilla
Scant teaspoon lemon juice

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Prepare 9-inch cake pans with baking spray. Since this is an 8 layer cake, and few of us have 8 cake pans, and even fewer an oven that will hold them all at once, I use 4 cake pans and bake 4 layers at a time.

Cream butter, sugar and salt in bowl of electric mixer until smooth. Add egg yolks and blend until smooth. Add sifted dry ingredients alternately with milk. Beat until blended. Add vanilla and lemon juice.

Beat egg whites with hand mixer until they hold a stiff peak. Gently fold beaten whites into batter.

Measure 3/4 cup batter into each pan and spread evenly over the bottom. (It will be very thin.) Bake for 12 to 15 minutes. Repeat baking process until batter is completely used.

Cool completely. Stack layers with CHOCOLATE CUSTARD FILLING. Spread CHOCOLATE BUTTER CREAM FROSTING over top and sides. Chill for several hours until firm.

Frost chilled cake with ALWAYS DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE ICING.


CHOCOLATE CUSTARD FILLING

2 cups sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons cornstarch
2 heaping tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
4 whole eggs
1 tablespoon butter, melted
4 1-ounce squares unsweetened chocolate, melted
1 tablespoon vanilla
4 cups (1 quart) milk

Mix all dry ingredients together in a saucepan. Add eggs, butter, melted chocolate, vanilla and milk. Mix and cook over medium low heat until thick, stirring constantly. Cool before spreading between layers of cake.


CHOCOLATE BUTTER CREAM FROSTING

2 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter or margarine, room temperature
1 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 1-ounce square unsweetened chocolate, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 tablespoons (more or less) hot water

Cream sugar and margarine (or butter). Add cocoa, then melted chocolate and vanilla, blending thoroughly. Add hot water by tablespoons until mixture is spreading consistency. (Since I don't like to run out of frosting before I run out of cake, or skimp on the good stuff, I usually make a recipe and a half of this stuff. If you have any left over, it freezes well and I'm sure you can find some reason to use it sooner rather than later.)


ALWAYS DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE ICING

1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
4 1-ounce squares semi-sweet chocolate, melted
1/2 stick unsalted butter
3/4 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine all ingredients in sauce pan, slowly bring to a boil over medium low heat. Boil for about 10 minutes until icing begins to thicken. Then beat with hand electric mixer until thick enough to spread. Again, this is not a fluffy icing, but a thick, pasty concoction, and your fingers may useful in "patting" in onto the sides of the cake.)

A lot of trouble? You bet, but this cake is so good, (not to mention quite the showpiece), that I'm looking for an excuse to make one again soon! Anybody got a birthday coming up?

Killer Chocolate Fudge Layer Cake

Sometimes you need a quick chocolate fix and only a gooey, fudgey, dark, down and dirty chocolate cake will do. So I'm going to share one of my favorite, never fail antidotes for chocolate angst. This absolutely killer recipe comes from Kraft foods and contains three of the staples of what I like to call church lady cooking; cake mix, Jello pudding, and Cool Whip.

And the frosting is so good and easy you might want to make it your "default" chocolate frosting recipe. (I hate to admit it, but sometimes I keep a tub of it in the freezer to use in case of an "emergency," and find myself eating it out of the container with a spoon!)

Not the fanciest chocolate cake in the pantry, but it's so simple and so tasty I almost guarantee you'll make it again. (And BTW, if you tell anyone you got this recipe from me and ruin my reputation as a bona-fide scratch cook, I'll hunt you down like a dog.)

KILLER CHOCOLATE FUDGE LAYER CAKE

1 package chocolate cake mix
1 package Jello Chocolate Flavor Instant Pudding & Pie Filling
4 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup cooking oil
1/2 cup water
2 1-ounce squares semisweet baking chocolate
Sliced almonds for garnish

Frosting: (Good for ANY chocolate cake)

6 1-ounce squares semisweet baking chocolate
1 16-ounce (or 2 8-ounce) tub Cool Whip

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease (or prepare with baking spray) 2 (9-inch) round cake pans. Beat cake mix, dry pudding mix, eggs, sour cream, oil and water in large bowl with electric mixer until well blended. Stir in 2 squares (2 ounces) of the chocolate, chopped. Pour batter into prepared pans. Bake 30 t0 35 minutes or until toothpick inserted near center comes out clean. Remove from pans and cool completely.

Place remaining 6 squares (6 ounces) of chocolate and Cool Whip in microwaveable bowl and microwave on high for 2 minutes. Stir until blended and shiny. Cool. (It will be liquid at first. I put it into the freezer until it returns to the consistency of Cool Whip.) Place cake layer on serving plate, spread with 1/4 of the chocolate mixture. Place second layer on top. Spread remaining chocolate mixture over top and sides of cake. Garnish with almonds.

Note: If you want to lighten up the recipe, you can use fat free sour cream, fat free whipped topping, and even sugar free pudding mix, but I say, why bother.